My daughter is turning 13 tomorrow and she told me the other day that she only had four days of her childhood left. Top 10 things not to say to your mother, Maggie!
If you ask me how this happened I will tell you in all honesty, that I have no idea. Time travel seems the only logical explanation. And even though leaving childhood doesn’t happen overnight, the steady leaving of childhood does actually happen, even to the best of them. It may first be the trains that don’t get played with as often, or the dolls that sit in the corner of the room, and then one day without you noticing they are placed in a box and carried downstairs. Then, it’s the pink leggings and tutus that get traded in for jeans, and the headbands and ribbons for claw clips and scrunchies. And the crazy thing about all of these transitions is there are no exact moments you can pinpoint. It’s not like your child wakes up and declares “this is the last time I’ll play with my blocks.” There is no ceremony, there is most often no goodbye.
And yet, just like there is a slow and steady grief process when you realize you don’t have a little baby anymore, there is certainly a grief process when your child leaves childhood behind. And in my experience it goes through all of the stages. The denial; like when you buy them a toy or outfit they are clearly too old for. The bargaining; when you ask yourself if you did enough, if you appreciated each stage enough, if you taught all the things and created all the magic you were intending to create. (Spoiler alert: you didn’t but it’s actually OK!) The next stage is sorrow, where you scroll through old photos and videos on the couch and wonder how it is that she actually doesn’t play with Uni the Unicorn anymore. And why and how did time actually fly just like they all said it would. And finally, the acceptance. Where letting go of the past version of your child, and all the mistakes you made along the way, allows you to remain present to the one right there in front of you. So this mother’s day, no matter which stage your child may be in, maybe slow down a little bit and give them each an extra snuggle, and try to just take in and appreciate this moment in time as a mother. And in case no one has told you lately: you are an amazing mom, and you're doing an amazing job.
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